


Jaskier's Jaunts of Jig-Jigging with Jam Pots

by abswritesfandoms



Series: AbsWritesGeraskier [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: F/M, I'm sorry?, M/M, Multi, Story within a Story, Storytime, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28720401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abswritesfandoms/pseuds/abswritesfandoms
Summary: Idk what this is honestly I was looking back through comments on Rarer Species and I saw I said II'd write a one shot about the whole Calanthe/Eist/Jaskier thing and here we are! Lockdown number 3 in the UK, I'm in a creative, motivated mood, and yeah. Also I'm sorry about the title I just couldn't help it honestly.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, calanthe/eist/jaskier
Series: AbsWritesGeraskier [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670593
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Wine Drunk With The One And Only Yennefer of Vengerburg

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry (again) please enjoy

There was honestly nothing Jaskier loved more than getting wine drunk with the one and only Yennefer of Vengerburg.

Well, technically there was something he loved more, a few things actually, but in that moment of time that was how he felt.

So long as he didn’t look at Geralt. And how the man was sat with his legs slightly spread on that chair, with his leather pants fitting oh so tight over his delicious, muscular thighs. Now that was a sight he loved, though he loved it even better when those thighs weren’t clad in leather and he got to hold onto them as he rode the Witcher.

What was he saying?

Ah yes, getting wine drunk. Always a fun time, however it often resulted in his own embarrassment seen as how he had a talent for not having a verbal filter. He was bad enough sober, really, so it was to be expected that he wouldn’t give any shits when he was drunk.

“Geralt, truth or dare!” He declared merrily, cheeks rosy and grin wide.

A silver brow was raised in his direction, and a silence stretched to the point where Jaskier thought his lovely companion wasn’t going to reply, but then:

“Truth.”

The bard looked over at the sorceress, who’s feet had ended up in his lap, and waggled his eyebrows at her. “Now isn’t this exciting.”

“Very exciting indeed,” Yen agreed, taking a sip of her wine, “Let me think.”

Jaskier had an idea, and before he could think about it he blurted it out, “Have you ever had a threesome?”

It was so silent you could’ve heard a pin drop, until Yennefer let out the tiniest little snort of laughter.

“No,” Geralt answered in that gravelly voice of his, oh it sent shivers down Jaskier’s spine (it was important to note that drunk Jaskier was also rather horny), narrowing his eyes, “Have you?”

Almost immediately a sheepish look formed on his face. Geralt’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and Yennefer sat up, smirking.

“I knew it,” she announced, only a slight slur to her speech, “Who with? Was it when you were at Oxenfurt?”

With a sigh, Jaskier chugged the rest of his wine, before answering, “No, it was Queen Calanthe and King Eist. It was after Geralt had stormed away after getting a child surprise, and there was a lot of merriment and wine, and I ended up in their bed. Anyways, who’s next?”

Both the sorceress and the Witcher shook their heads.

“Game over,” Geralt told him, “Tell us.”

“I- what? No I couldn’t possibly- Surely you don’t want to hear about it? Geralt?” He looked at his partner with wide eyes, who gave the subtlest of smirks, and then to the woman by his side, who just shook her head with a grin as he said: “Yen?”

After a moment of thought, his shoulders sagged. “Oh, alright then, here we go…”


	2. It All Started After Geralt Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nearly go time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah idk what this is, thank you for reading again, the threesome is probably gonna happen in the next chapter, or at least begin then anyways (I have a thing for short but multiple chapters if you haven't already noticed). Also please feel free to go and read the first work in this series, Rarer Species! This is pretty much a continuation of it, and it kind of explains a few things that might crop up as we go along!

It all started after Geralt left. The chandelier was hoisted away, and the glass was swept up. More wine and beer were brought in, some food too, and the vows were made by both couples. Mousesack officiated – he came back in after he had gone after Geralt, but he came back empty handed, not that Jaskier was surprised. The Witcher was even worse at handling his emotions and stresses then as he was now.

The bard played a few more songs, and the King and Queen just got progressively more drunk. Priscilla and Duny had retired by that point, so by the time Eist and Calanthe beckoned him over they were the only two left at the great table. All the other guests were even drunker, which seemed to be customary for a Cintran wedding.

“What’s your name, bard?” Calanthe asked, only a slight slur to her speech.

“Jaskier, your Majesty,” he told her, swooping into an extravagant bow, “How may I be of your service?”

_Please be a job that pays well. Please be a job that pays well._

Eist looked at him for a moment in the eye, then very slowly looked him up and down, examining every inch of his body. Jaskier, ever the flirt, put on a charming smile. Maybe he was trying to decide what size of court robes he would need, or something of the sort.

The two royals looked at each other, and both gave a small nod.

“Come to bed with us, bard,” Calanthe proposed – though it was more of an order.

“I-Wh-Beg pardon, my lady?” Jaskier managed to stutter out, not quite believing that this was happening.

The Queen smirked slightly, “Come to bed with us.”

On instinct, Jaskier looked over his shoulder, to see what Geralt was doing, to see if the Witcher wanted to leave and get on the road, or if he was finding company of his own for the night. Oh, how Jaskier wished he could be said company.

But Geralt wasn’t there.

Geralt wasn’t there because Jaskier wasn’t important enough to stick around for in a foreign country where he had never been before and had no way of getting home.

A soft frown formed on his features, and he looked back at the King and Queen, giving a nod, “Alright then.”

…

Jaskier took a brief pause in the storytelling to refill his goblet with wine. He was probably drinking far too much but to be completely honest it would be the only way to get through the rest of the story without spontaneously combusting out of pure embarrassment.

Geralt was sat staring into his tankard, but then he looked up at the bard. “I’m sorry. For leaving you like that. It was… Wrong of me. I should have waited for you, or at least asked if you wanted to leave with me.”

“Geralt, darling, it’s alright,” Jaskier reassured, going and sitting on the Witcher’s lap, much to Yen’s apparent disgust (he’d learned very quickly that she just pretended, and was in fact very happy for the two men). “That was years ago, all is forgiven. Anyways, I think it’s time for me to continue my epic tale. Where were we?”

**Author's Note:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
